Friday, September 18, 2009

Do Onto Others as You Would Like Done Onto You, That is if you Appreciate Being Treated Equally as Others.

James has me started reading this series of books called "The Disc Series" By Terry Pratchett. I am currently reading the second of the series, The Light Fantastic. They are rather funny books, the author definitely has a sense of humour. Think Harry Potter, plus other worlds, plus star trek, plus a wacky sense of humor.

He at times can be incredibly cynical, but in a humorous sense.

I would like to share a little tidbit with the sarcastic cynics among us:

"...The point is that descriptive writing is very rarely entirely accurate and during the reign of Olaf Quimby II as Patrician of Ankh some legislation was passed in a determined attempt to put a stop to this sort of thing and introduce some honesty into reporting. Thus, if a legend said of a notable hero that 'all men spoke of his prowess' any bard who valued his life would add hastily ' except for a couple of people in his home village who thought he was a liar, and quite a lot of other people who had never really heard of him.' Poetic simile was strictly limited to statements like ' his might steed was as fleet as the wind on a fairly calm day, say about Force Three,' and any loose talk about a beloved having a face that launched a thousand ships would have to be backed by evidence that the object of desire did indeed look like a bottle of champagne.

Quimby was eventually killed by a disgruntled poet during an experiment conducted in the palace grounds to prove the disputed accuracy of the proverb 'The pen is mightier than the sword,' and in his memory it was amended to include the phrase 'only if the sword is very small and the pen is very sharp."

Just in case you are looking for a good read, I recommend these books, small fast, and funny.

And beware if your ever come into combat with a poet, and your sword is very small.

I Found the Land of the Unicorns!

I am not sure if anyone picked up on the fact that Ms. Kim Bonney and I have a running inside joke about Unicorns? If not let me pick you up to speed.

It all started once upon at time with a badminton tournament. Kim and I joined to become the unstoppable force of "Team Unicorn."

Since that time Unicorn Power, has reigned supreme. There have been unicorn team meals of sprinkles, lucky charms, and cupcakes. There are rainbow phone calls filled with happiness, unicorn and hugs, that always brighten days.
There are Youtube.com videos about unicorns. Heeyyyyy Chaaarrllieeee:

There have been adventures into toy stores on the hunt for Unicorns. And exceptions for unicorns on hiking trails:


In other words, the saga of the Unicorn+Lacey+Kim is long and will endure forever.
Now, Kim, I know you don't want to move to Australia, because you said it is full of Australians. But I have found our home. This is definitely a sign. You must come here, so we can join our kind. I was walking around Sydney the other night when low and behold.....THE UNICORN HOTEL!

That's right Kim, no more excuses about Australians. I look forward to your arrival so we can join our kind.
Lots of Love from tomorrow :)




Wednesday, September 16, 2009

No Shirt No Shoes No Service?

You know those signs hanging in the front of stores in America, stating that one must be at least wearing a shirt and shoes to enter a business, hopefully pants are also implied. Well apparently, that is not required here. I had noticed that a large amount of people walk around without shoes. Not where you would expect though, not in the little beachy sub burbs, but around campus or down main streets. The streets here are not exactly clean either, always trash or broken bottles, I am not sure what the appeal is. But it must be fairly normal because not only have I seen large amounts of people doing this but also in stores, and I have never seen a manager approach a person asking them to leave due to their lack of shoe attire. I am not sure if these people are just very forgetful and do not remember to put their shoes on when leaving the house. It surely cannot be comfortable to walk around on asphalt for long distances without your shoes (one does quite a bit of walking in Sydney.)

I thought that this lack of attire would stop at the lack of shoes, but we had the first couple of truly hot days this weekend, and boy oh boy did the shirts seemed to disappear. Well, for males that is, I have not seen any amazonian woman patrolling the streets, mainly guys in board shorts.

If you decide to visit me, I would suggest bringing shirts and shoes. However, if you happen to forget to pack it, no worries mate. I guess it is not so much a case of 'no shirt, no shoes, no service,' but more of 'no shirt, no shoes, no worries.'

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Yo' Mama Jokes, Really?

I am not sure if I have actually had a good nights rest since arriving in Australia, maybe one or two, but that is about it. Last night I tried to go to bed early since I had my job today (11pm, so maybe just earlyish.) The people outside my window did not become quiet enough to really fall asleep until 1AM. It was very hot yesterday, low 90's so I was trying to sleep with my window open, because my room was miserable and hot. Well at 3:45, I am woken up by laughter and yelling. I cannot make out what people are actually saying, but they are having a good time. I try to fall back asleep, but, they just get louder once someone gets offended and I hear....

"ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU ARE MAD ABOUT YO' MAMA JOKES?"

"I DON'T APPRECIATE THEM"

I didn't hear the next part but it was quite clear that another Yo' Mama joke was told because the person yelled back after the other takes offense:

"OH COME ON THEY ARE JUST YO' MAMA JOKES, YOU ARE GONNA GET MAD ABOUT YO' MAMA JOKES?!"

This continues for at least 5 more minutes, just banter about Yo' Mama Jokes. The joke teller doesn't catch a clue and stop doing it. The joke hearer can't figure out that maybe they should just leave. They are both either quite dense or quite drunk. I am going to vote for both. At this point I am mad, and tired, and grumpy, I just want to sleep. However, I have a feeling that me yelling is just going to add fuel to the already blazing fire. So I instead get a cold wet towel for my feet, shut my window and put the blanket over my head.

If something is going to wake me up in the middle of the night, I would appreciate, if it were more of a pressing issue than Yo' Mama Jokes....