Today I realised just how much the world despises me. This whole life is absolutely unjust. Don't worry I not about to start on some feminist rant about the glass ceiling or double standards, no this is something much bigger than that and it finally deserves some recognition.
I have been below the Equator for nearly a whole year. And during this time I have made an oath to find the promiscuous platypus (you might remember my earlier post regarding the elusive "platypus" at the Zoo, aka the one I think doesn't exist.) Well, I have been to the zoo on two separate occasions and both times the platypus was conveniently "not in sight," or as I would prefer to believe just a mythic creature. I mean come on who really thinks that there is an animal that has the beak of a bird, the tail of a beaver, venom in its hind foot, and oh yeah we are also supposed to believe it is a mammal that lays eggs. Good one super scientist jokers, after we find the elusive platypus maybe we should go snipe hunting then we can catch a jackalope, and to top it off we shall re-fill our blinker fluid.
Well today the universe decided to play a sick joke on me. While Cassi was off gallivanting with her Mom and Brother, she managed to message me saying that she saw a platypus in the wild and in fact they are real. I refuse to believe this for several reasons. 1. I did not see it with my own eyes. 2. I have been super sleuthing at the zoo and I have not seen one. 3. Come on really a platypus see my reasons for why we should not believe that such a mythical creature exists. I think instead of Cassi really seeing one in the wild, she was actually bewitched by the pranking gods in an effort to help convince me that they do indeed exist. Well I am just not falling for it so thank you, come again.
Oh yeah and just so you know the plural of platypus is not platypi, it is merely platypuses or just platypus. This is also further proof it doesn't exist because you don't need proper pluralisation for a non-existent creature.
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As proof of existence I offer a drawing of a Platypus at the Australian Museum website.
ReplyDeletehttp://australianmuseum.net.au/Platypus
Also see
http://australianmuseum.net.au/drop-bear for further evidence and assurance about the existence of very real, very odd mammals that are real and very much exist in reality.
Honestly.